How to handle exceptions with spring-jms

Question

Hi I am using a jmslistener annotation to recieve messages from tibco queue. I am DefaultJmsListenerContainer factory with sessionTransacted = true. What I want to do is

1. When we get a RunTimeException I want to retry the specific message specific no of times(lets say x)

2. When we get cannot get jdbc connection I want to shutdown the system and want to make sure that this message is sent back to the queue to be redelivered the next time system is brought up.

What I am facing is

1. When I am setting sessionTransacted as true and I am throwing a RunTimeException the message is redelivered indefinitely . How can I set this configuration to redeliver the message only x times.( I have tried using message header property JMSXDeliveryCount but that does not give me the correct no of times a specific message is redelivered.)
2. I tried shutting down the system using System.exit(1) but this leads to deadlock and application hangs. I added another piece of code where I am shutting down the application in a different thread and making sure if in between the shutting down of the container another message is read by the listener I throw a RunTimeException so that I am able to get that message again once my system is brought up. However what I want is the 1st message for which we did not get the jdbc connection to be redelivered and no other messages to be read when I stop the container.How can we achieve this.