'How do you connect to an AWS RDS database in TablePlus and in Node?

Title is pretty self explanatory. AWS is a nightmare to me. Basic things aren't explained.

I created an AWS RDS database. All I want to do is connect to it in TablePlus or similar tool and then connect it to a Node/Express server. What properties am I supposed to enter here? AWS provides and "endpoint" but how does that translate to Host/Socket?

Then, how do I create a node/express back end that connects to this? I don't understand how this process seems so undocumented and obscure when I can do this in Heroku in 5 minutes? Am I missing a step somewhere? Does the RDS database require something else?

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